Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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