i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
