if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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