I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
