we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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