Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
