She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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