So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
