I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
