marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
