rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
