pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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