I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
