I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
All the doctor said was why
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
