I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
