i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
