he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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