oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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