Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
