I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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