So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
