Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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