I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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