we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
