I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
