i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize