Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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