She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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