Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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