Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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