We won't sleep together?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
