dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
