You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
