Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.