so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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