I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
