I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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