We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I believe in your delicious
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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