(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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