one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
