dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
