i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
