I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
