i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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