Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
