Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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