You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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