So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
