Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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