Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize