No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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