ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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