so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
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Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.