honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..