He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
