Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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