wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
