I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
