shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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