Christians are straight up FREAKS
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
