where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
